Friday, October 05, 2012

Never Be a Developer


Introduction:
Roshan D'Mello (QA Tester)  
Mukesh Thakur (Developer)  
 
Roshan D'Mello:  Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in
username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.
 
Mukesh Thakur:  How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep
sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it fixed.
 
 
 After 2 days,
 
Mukesh Thakur : Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.
 
 
After another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in
some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry
is not getting the sound.
 

After another 2 days,
 
Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has
Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt
speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use
head phones and then get the bug closed soon.
 
 
Another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is
Different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but
My colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound
as 'TONG'.
 
Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The
Two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do
You expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them
uniform?
Please close it.
 

Another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep
Sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces
Beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces
Sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all
machines.
 
 
 
Another 2 days later,
 
Mukesh Thakur :  Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the
Volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both
The machines before I get mad and then close the bug.
 
 
 
Another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug.
 
Mukesh Thakur :  What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for
re-opening?
 
Roshan D'Mello:  Sound intensity is different for machines placed at
different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.
 
 
 
After 2 days,
 
Mukesh Thakur : I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of
the
two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the
acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity
is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the
bugs.
 
 
 
After 1 year
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested
The clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same
Acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that
intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.
 
Mukesh Thakur : GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the
Sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background
noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because
of background noice.
 
Roshan D'Mello :   No need for that. We will put the machines and run
them in vacuum and see.
 
Mukesh Thakur:   ??

  Result-----------------------

Mukesh Thakur is now in mental asylum while Roshan D'Mello has become QA Manager.



Thanks: To my friend Kamalnath

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Very nice...

this is the reality of developer status....